Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Randomize