At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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