I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
