One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
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