Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Acid is not a monday night drug
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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