Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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