Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Dick very happy bro
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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