garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
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