Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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