I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
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