I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Randomize
