You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
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