I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
you had me at cake vodka
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
