the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
