i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
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