so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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