It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Someone shattered a urinal.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize
