you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
i came on her dog
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
