My nipple is on Facebook.
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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