I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
