She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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