Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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