pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I have demons in me.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
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