Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
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