Having a random hookup so left but love u
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
