remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
