I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize