"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
