you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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