College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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