the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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