ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
