this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
