You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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