can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Randomize
