I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
