I think i peed on brittanys purse
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
