Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I think I sprained my soul last night
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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