I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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