I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
