he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
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