DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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