she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Randomize
