And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
