This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
