thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
