1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
My vagina just recognized that song.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I look excited, but its just a facade.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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