but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
