i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
