hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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