Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Randomize
