Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
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