i jhust puked up my retainher.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
