I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
