A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
