Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
Randomize
