doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
he puts the penis in happiness.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
