Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
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