When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
All I want is dick and wine.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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