oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Randomize
