New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
