BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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