they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Betty ford says i'm here all night
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
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