I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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