that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
how does that bad decision feel?
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